• A Crappy Sales Call

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Fri Mar 19 00:06:04 2021
    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
    confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

    "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes
    of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

    "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded
    to close the door.

    Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it
    wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen
    my demonstration."

    And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

    "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

    "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the electricity was cut off this morning."
    --- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Sat Jun 19 00:04:51 2021
    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
    confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

    "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes
    of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

    "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded
    to close the door.

    Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it
    wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen
    my demonstration."

    And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

    "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

    "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the electricity was cut off this morning."
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 20 12:54:01 2021
    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

    "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes
    of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

    "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.

    Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least
    seen
    my demonstration."

    And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway
    carpet.

    "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure
    from
    your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

    "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the
    electricity
    was cut off this morning."

    Now you're telling potty jokes? Bathroom humour? For shame!

    Why did the US invade the toilet?
    Because it had oil in it.
    T-oil-et.

    Q: What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
    A: Urine trouble.

    I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her
    She immediately flushed with embarrassment.

    Toilet jokes arenÆt my favorite...
    But theyÆre a solid number 2.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Jun 20 20:11:00 2021
    George,

    Now you're telling potty jokes? Bathroom humour? For shame!

    Well, we all have to go sometime. <G>

    Why did the US invade the toilet?
    Because it had oil in it.
    T-oil-et.

    I saw a meme where a toilet was telling someone to drop their pants,
    and pour everything into it. I'd have to dig for it, as I don't have it offhand.

    Q: What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
    A: Urine trouble.

    We Aim To Please...You Aim, Too...Please.

    I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine
    hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her
    She immediately flushed with embarrassment.

    That was a bloody mess. :P

    Toilet jokes arenÆt my favorite...
    But theyÆre a solid number 2.

    If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?? - George Carlin

    Daryl

    ... When my son said "Stop impersonating a flamingo", I put my foot down.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jun 23 08:43:01 2021
    I saw a meme where a toilet was telling someone to drop their pants,
    and pour everything into it. I'd have to dig for it, as I don't have it offhand.

    You'd prolly have to explain it to me, too. . . ;)

    Q: What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
    A: Urine trouble.

    We Aim To Please...You Aim, Too...Please.

    Another sign:
    Ladies: Please stay eated during the entire poerformance.
    Men: Stand close, t's shorter than you think.

    & another:

    If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie & wipe the seatie.

    Now he common sign is "Do not put anything but tissue into the toilet"

    Okay, so where do I put the reason I need to sit down, once produced?

    If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?? - George Carlin

    good old Carlin(RIP), one of my all-time favorites -- he was funny AND thought-provoking AND intelligent/witty.

    * Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
    * The reason I talk to myself is because IÆm the only one whose answers I accept.
    * Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

    RIP, Georgie, you were one of the good ones!

    I thik I have every album he's done, in MP3 format, plus I've read both his books (funny stuff)

    The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and
    "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians.
    It creates a hostile work environment. --20th c. Philosopher G. Carlin


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Jun 23 20:06:00 2021
    George,

    You'd prolly have to explain it to me, too. . . ;)

    It's on the BBS computer on the LAN...I was reworking the file areas.

    Another sign:
    Ladies: Please stay eated during the entire poerformance.

    I hope you meant "stay seated".

    Men: Stand close, t's shorter than you think.

    I hope you meant "it's shorter than you think".

    Or like the guy who had his lady friend's name tattooed on his
    member, but at first, all you saw was W and Y -- for Wendy. Well,
    another guy had the same deal, but it was "Welcome To Jamaica.
    Have A Nice Day". :P Considering what one has to go through for
    a tattoo, I've got better things to spend my money on.

    If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie & wipe the seatie.

    Exactly.

    Now he common sign is "Do not put anything but tissue into the toilet"

    Okay, so where do I put the reason I need to sit down, once produced?

    You'd be surprised at the stuff people try to put down the toilet.

    good old Carlin(RIP), one of my all-time favorites -- he was funny AND thought-provoking AND intelligent/witty.

    Never mind the 7 dirty words.

    * Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them
    are stupider than that.

    On my train of thought, 95% are riding for half fare.

    * The reason I talk to myself is because IÆm the only one whose answers
    I accept.

    I talk to myself when I need expert advice.

    * Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up
    on the roof and gets stuck.

    I've seen a variant of that in a QWK Mail tagline.

    RIP, Georgie, you were one of the good ones!

    I wish many of the comedians nowadays hadn't gotten so raunchy with
    their material. The long gone comedians of Red Skelton, Jack Benny,
    George Burns, Groucho Marx, and many others...proved that you don't
    have to be dirty or vulgar to be funny.

    Along that line, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham got pretty raunchy at
    times, because "it was an economical issue". Well, I know that two
    other ventriloquists, Todd Oliver and Darci Lynn Farmer, have G rated
    shows.

    The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
    courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not
    commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of
    lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work
    environment. --20th c. Philosopher G. Carlin

    He hit the nail on the head.

    Daryl

    ... What you think of me is none of my business.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jun 25 09:45:10 2021
    Another sign:
    Ladies: Please stay eated during the entire poerformance.

    I hope you meant "stay seated".

    Kinda yeah. . .

    People do take their lunch into the toilet,. to have privacy while they eat & play Candy Crush or check Facebook. .

    No thank you. . .

    Or like the guy who had his lady friend's name tattooed on his
    member, but at first, all you saw was W and Y -- for Wendy. Well,
    another guy had the same deal, but it was "Welcome To Jamaica.
    Have A Nice Day". :P Considering what one has to go through for
    a tattoo, I've got better things to spend my money on.

    One guy was asked why he tattooed "LITTLE" on his member. He said, "Just
    wait a minute -- it spells "I'm from Little Rock, Arkansas, United States of America"

    > GP> Now he common sign is "Do not put anything but tissue into the
    toilet"

    Okay, so where do I put the reason I need to sit down, once produced?

    You'd be surprised at the stuff people try to put down the toilet.

    I doubt I would be. . .

    good old Carlin(RIP), one of my all-time favorites -- he was funny
    AND
    thought-provoking AND intelligent/witty.

    Never mind the 7 dirty words.

    I found it funny intelligent, & witty. . .

    He demonstrates that words in & of themseloves are not "bad"; bad intentions
    & misuses are bad. . .


    I wish many of the comedians nowadays hadn't gotten so raunchy with
    their material. The long gone comedians of Red Skelton, Jack Benny,
    George Burns, Groucho Marx, and many others...proved that you don't
    have to be dirty or vulgar to be funny.

    I like both - but it hasd t be intelligent, not JUST relying on shock value

    I'm no afraid of words -- they indicate what's going on behind the mouth sdaying them. . .

    Same with people's choice of attire or tattoos.

    If God gave all of us free will, who are we to try to override it?

    I'm all for givibng advice ("talking like that won't get you as far in this world as being polite & slightly formal")

    Along that line, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham got pretty raunchy at
    times, because "it was an economical issue". Well, I know that two
    other ventriloquists, Todd Oliver and Darci Lynn Farmer, have G rated
    shows.

    I have every one of Dunham's shows; not sure I recall anything 'raunchy'

    ... What you think of me is none of my business.

    People have no clue on how to "mind your own business" any more. . .

    Like don't start talking trash about someone else to me because true or not,
    I dn't want to hear it!

    Plus, I figured out that if Buddy is trashing X to you, he's trashing you to
    X. . .

    You hear the gossip about butter?
    Actually IÆm not gonna spread it

    Q: What do they call gossip you hear in bathrooms?
    A: Restrumors.

    I heard some salacious gossip about the prime minister of Canada
    I don't think it's Trudeau

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to GEORGE POPE on Fri Jun 25 16:01:00 2021
    People do take their lunch into the toilet,. to have privacy while they eat & play Candy Crush or check Facebook. .

    No thank you. . .

    Agreed. I have heard that some of my co-workers at a place I used to work would do that, but I never witnessed it. Yuck!

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * Blue Wave Tagline makers can DO IT l o n g e r .
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Jun 25 17:13:00 2021
    George,

    I hope you meant "stay seated".

    Kinda yeah. . .

    I hate fat finger syndrome...but without fat fingers, how do you
    pick up the food and the silverware??

    People do take their lunch into the toilet,. to have privacy while they eat & play Candy Crush or check Facebook. .

    I'd be afraid of dropping the phone into the toilet. I admit I take
    mine in the bathroom at home, but it sits on the chair next to me.

    I keep deleting Candy Crush and other stuff off the computer, but
    Windows keeps putting it back on. Speaking of which, the Lenovo
    laptop will be able to upgrade to Windows 11, but the BBS computer
    apparently will not...as it's CPU is too slow. The thing is, even
    if the CPU was faster, if they aren't going to make a 32-bit version
    of Windows 11, the BBS will stay with Windows 10.

    One guy was asked why he tattooed "LITTLE" on his member. He said,
    "Just wait a minute -- it spells "I'm from Little Rock, Arkansas,
    United States of America"

    It wasn't me. <G> Remember, if you mix Viagra with Bounty, you have
    "The Quicker Pecker Upper". <G>

    I like both - but it hasd t be intelligent, not JUST relying on shock value

    Just ask Howard Stern.

    I'm no afraid of words -- they indicate what's going on behind the
    mouth sdaying them. . .

    To me, profanity is the attempt of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly...especially if it's constant in their speech. Once in a
    blue moon, I can deal with it.

    If God gave all of us free will, who are we to try to override it?

    You'd be surprised how many try to, anyway. Man wants to be "his own
    god".

    I have every one of Dunham's shows; not sure I recall anything
    'raunchy'

    I've heard him use the F word on occasion. The 2 I recall are:

    1) When Achmed meets his son.
    2) When Peanut calls the "Taste Of China" restaurant for food.

    ... What you think of me is none of my business.

    People have no clue on how to "mind your own business" any more. . .

    There was a song "Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business, So You Won't
    Be Minding Mine??".

    You hear the gossip about butter?
    Actually IÆm not gonna spread it

    Did you talk to Marge Erin about that??

    Q: What do they call gossip you hear in bathrooms?
    A: Restrumors.

    That's the scuttlebutt on the new toilets.

    I heard some salacious gossip about the prime minister of Canada
    I don't think it's Trudeau

    I guess it petered out, then??

    Daryl

    ... "I never forget a face. In your case, I'll make an exception". -Groucho
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Mike Powell on Sun Jun 27 13:23:43 2021
    People do take their lunch into the toilet,. to have privacy while they eat & play Candy Crush or check Facebook. .

    No thank you. . .

    Agreed. I have heard that some of my co-workers at a place I used to work would do that, but I never witnessed it. Yuck!

    Art my last in-person working place (I(& my team) converted the company to fully virtual, so the boss saves on the expensive downtown lease & I save on a 4 hour/day unpaid commute. . .)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 27 14:01:57 2021
    George,

    I hope you meant "stay seated".

    Kinda yeah. . .

    I hate fat finger syndrome...but without fat fingers, how do you
    pick up the food and the silverware??

    My fingers fit perfectly on the ends of my hands. . . It's not my fault that manufacturers tend to think we all have Asian teen girl fingers for using mobile apps!

    I'd be afraid of dropping the phone into the toilet. I admit I take
    mine in the bathroom at home, but it sits on the chair next to me.

    I only do so at home & I'm very very careful. . .

    I keep deleting Candy Crush and other stuff off the computer, but
    Windows keeps putting it back on. Speaking of which, the Lenovo
    laptop will be able to upgrade to Windows 11, but the BBS computer apparently will not...as it's CPU is too slow. The thing is, even
    if the CPU was faster, if they aren't going to make a 32-bit version
    of Windows 11, the BBS will stay with Windows 10.

    They've issued Win11?! Is it actually iuseful/better? Is it free?

    I like both - but it hasd t be intelligent, not JUST relying on shock value

    Just ask Howard Stern.

    Never heard one of his shows -- no need, I've got the gist. . .

    I'm no afraid of words -- they indicate what's going on behind the mouth sdaying them. . .

    To me, profanity is the attempt of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly...especially if it's constant in their speech. Once in a
    blue moon, I can deal with it.

    Often it's not their fault; they were deprived of a decent education, so as
    to have a full vocabulary.

    The peroblem with slang(vulgar & otherwise) is it's lazy. . .

    I use fleep & fleeping, which I've defined as a "neutral gratuitious intensive."



    If God gave all of us free will, who are we to try to override it?

    You'd be surprised how many try to, anyway. Man wants to be "his own
    god".

    I have every one of Dunham's shows; not sure I recall anything 'raunchy'

    I've heard him use the F word on occasion. The 2 I recall are:

    1) When Achmed meets his son.
    2) When Peanut calls the "Taste Of China" restaurant for food.

    ... What you think of me is none of my business.

    People have no clue on how to "mind your own business" any more. . .

    There was a song "Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business, So You Won't
    Be Minding Mine??".

    You hear the gossip about butter?
    Actually IÆm not gonna spread it

    Did you talk to Marge Erin about that??

    Q: What do they call gossip you hear in bathrooms?
    A: Restrumors.

    That's the scuttlebutt on the new toilets.

    I heard some salacious gossip about the prime minister of Canada
    I don't think it's Trudeau

    I guess it petered out, then??

    Daryl

    ... "I never forget a face. In your case, I'll make an exception". -
    Groucho
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Jun 27 17:25:00 2021
    George,

    They've issued Win11?! Is it actually iuseful/better? Is it free?

    I don't know...but for users of Windows 10, it'll be free. My Lenovo
    Windows 10 64-bit laptop will take the upgrade...but the CPU on the BBS computer is too slow to run with it. So, I doubt it'll get upgraded,
    unless they come out with a 32-bit version. I think the upgrades will
    start rolling out in October.

    Daryl

    ... Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From Ron Lauzon@1:275/89 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jun 28 08:34:00 2021
    Daryl Stout wrote to George Pope <=-

    I don't know...but for users of Windows 10, it'll be free.

    Anything you get for free it worth what you paid for it.


    ... A little greed can get you lots of stuff
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    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to GEORGE POPE on Mon Jun 28 15:46:00 2021
    Agreed. I have heard that some of my co-workers at a place I used to work would do that, but I never witnessed it. Yuck!

    Art my last in-person working place (I(& my team) converted the company to fully virtual, so the boss saves on the expensive downtown lease & I save on a
    4 hour/day unpaid commute. . .)

    With what happened during COVID (we all were put on remote and it worked,
    even though management was originally skeptical), I was hoping we might
    remain virtual. While they have not completely made their minds up yet, it sounds like we are not. We may get to work remote 2 or so days a week, or maybe only have to report in 2 or so days a pay-period, but nothing is
    really solid yet. I think they are waiting for one of us to submit our
    request so that they can say "that is not acceptable" rather than tell us
    what is acceptable. :)

    Mike

    * SLMR 2.1a * So it goes so it goes so it goes so it goes so...
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Mike Powell on Tue Jun 29 08:19:30 2021
    With what happened during COVID (we all were put on remote and it worked, even though management was originally skeptical), I was hoping we might remain virtual. While they have not completely made their minds up yet,
    it
    sounds like we are not. We may get to work remote 2 or so days a week, or maybe only have to report in 2 or so days a pay-period, but nothing is really solid yet. I think they are waiting for one of us to submit our request so that they can say "that is not acceptable" rather than tell us what is acceptable. :)

    Figure out who scammed the company during the covid work-from-home period,
    then figure out how to prevent that gaming of things, present to your boss & you may get back on virtual. . .

    Basically relieve yor boss' concerns about paying money for nothing, & he'll happily go 100% virtual -- it's like free money for him!

    hmm. . .need funny content as the above is sad more than funny. . .

    Of course, our company's work type leaves it obvious who;'s slackassing & who isn't. If anincoming call isn't answered by on duty staff, it follows up t ring my boss' mobile (he does not like it when people are paid to answer but
    HE gets woken up at 2am to take care of a problem.)

    Simple to set up a soft phone system that logs all calls with timestamps.

    & create a database/log of all work done. (easily spot-checked by management
    or owners)

    Our system is so much more efficient -- we can respond to emergences immediately, instead of making our way to the office first.

    If a customer overhears dog or baby in the background, I just said, "I saw
    your name in the query list and didn't want to ake you wait, so I'm taking
    car of this from home right away."

    Bingo, blammo. Big boost to our business!

    Because every customer I'm talking to is a VIP, & they feel like it, too.

    I may never leave my house to work again! (working on prspectusing a new division for me to be VP of)

    I recall in the '80s there was all this talk of telecommuting, but nothing
    came of it because. . .paranoid business owners.

    Now many are figuring out the're paying a buttload of overhead on a physical office for nothing. . . Boss can hub the Zooms from his own home (tax- deductible region in his home)

    My boss, on Friday: ôThis is the fifth day in a row that youÆve been late.ö
    Me: ôWell, I can promise it wonÆt happen tomorrow.ö

    Your salary is just your companyÆs monthly subscription of you.

    First Day as a Bartender
    Customer: IÆll have a martini, dry.

    Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I donÆt know how to tell you
    this...

    Me: IÆm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
    Cop: You are the lawyer.
    Me: Exactly, so whereÆs my present?


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 29 08:36:24 2021
    George,

    They've issued Win11?! Is it actually iuseful/better? Is it free?

    I don't know...but for users of Windows 10, it'll be free. My Lenovo Windows 10 64-bit laptop will take the upgrade...but the CPU on the BBS computer is too slow to run with it. So, I doubt it'll get upgraded,
    unless they come out with a 32-bit version. I think the upgrades will
    start rolling out in October.

    So it's strictly 64bit now? I use 64bit Win10 (they forced the 'upgrade' on
    me one night when I was asleep)

    My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice
    I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the
    Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we
    could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely
    on Edge, I awaited her answer...

    PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to GEORGE POPE on Tue Jun 29 15:47:00 2021
    My boss, on Friday: .This is the fifth day in a row that you.ve been late.. Me: .Well, I can promise it won.t happen tomorrow..

    Indeed!

    First Day as a Bartender
    Customer: I.ll have a martini, dry.

    Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don.t know how to tell you this...

    That one always used to throw me, too. How can a liquid be "dry"? :D

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * THUGS EAT THEN ROB PROPRIETOR
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Jun 29 16:54:00 2021
    George,

    So it's strictly 64bit now? I use 64bit Win10 (they forced the
    'upgrade' on me one night when I was asleep)

    I don't know. I bought a 64-bit laptop with Windows 10 on it (a Lenovo
    one from Best Buy), and that's what I use for stuff outside the BBS. I
    ordered a copy of Windows 10 32-bit from Best Buy (it was cheaper than
    from Microsoft), but I think the computers now require a faster CPU to
    run Windows 11...and I don't know if it'll have 32-bit support or not.
    I personally can NOT see discarding perfectly good working hardware and software, just to satisfy Microsoft's bottom line.

    My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns,
    and I need some advice
    I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts
    with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

    That'd make a good deal for a pun contest. :)

    PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

    Only have the case between May 3 and 5, so May The Fourth be with you. <G>

    Daryl

    ... What do people in China call their good plates?
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Mike Powell on Tue Jun 29 22:58:00 2021
    Mike,

    First Day as a Bartender
    Customer: I.ll have a martini, dry.

    Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don.t know how to tell you this...

    That one always used to throw me, too. How can a liquid be "dry"? :D

    If I'm not mistaken, in this case, dry means "bitter". I think of what Groucho Marx would say "Pardon me while I slip out of these wet clothes,
    and into a dry martini". I think the Looney Tunes used this quite a bit
    with their cartoons...one had Bugs Bunny as Groucho, and Elmer Fudd as
    Harpo. <G>

    Daryl

    ... "Somebody left the cork out of my lunch." -W.C. Fields
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From Chris Hizny@1:218/860 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jun 30 05:58:56 2021
    Customer: I.ll have a martini, dry.
    If I'm not mistaken, in this case, dry means "bitter". I think of what

    I don't even know why I know this, except to the extent that I was once confused by that term, too. A dry martini is a martini which has very little vermouth added to it.

    Found this:

    Legend has it that Sir Winston Churchill liked his Martinis served without
    the vermouth actually being added to the drink, just present in the same
    room. He is quoted as saying of the drink, "Glance at the vermouth bottle briefly while pouring the juniper distillate freely."
    --- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Linux/64)
    * Origin: Shipwrecks & Shibboleths [San Francisco, CA - USA] (1:218/860)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to DARYL STOUT on Wed Jun 30 15:35:00 2021
    If I'm not mistaken, in this case, dry means "bitter". I think of what Groucho Marx would say "Pardon me while I slip out of these wet clothes,
    and into a dry martini". I think the Looney Tunes used this quite a bit
    with their cartoons...one had Bugs Bunny as Groucho, and Elmer Fudd as
    Harpo. <G>

    I think it may also. The Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies used the Marx
    Brothers more a few times to get a good laugh. :)

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Chris Hizny on Wed Jun 30 15:05:00 2021
    Chris,

    Customer: I.ll have a martini, dry.
    If I'm not mistaken, in this case, dry means "bitter". I think of what

    I don't even know why I know this, except to the extent that I was once confused by that term, too. A dry martini is a martini which has very little vermouth added to it.

    Found this:

    Legend has it that Sir Winston Churchill liked his Martinis served
    without the vermouth actually being added to the drink, just present in the same room. He is quoted as saying of the drink, "Glance at the vermouth bottle briefly while pouring the juniper distillate freely."

    I'm not a "drinker" of "the hard stuff"...whether beer, wine, liquor, whiskey, etc. The closest I get to that is talking about the skit done
    by the comedy team Hudson And Landry years ago with "Ajax Liquor Store".
    (They also did things like Ajax Airlines, Ajax Mortuary, The Prospector,
    and deal on "Mutual Of Tokyo" with an expedition on "The Ramma Lamma
    Ding Dong". <G>)...or the drunkard routines by Foster Brooks. Ironically,
    I understand he was a tee-totaller (never drank alcohol).

    Daryl

    ... You say I'm a little behind?? You can't see my butt.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Mike Powell on Thu Jul 1 11:31:00 2021
    Mike,

    If I'm not mistaken, in this case, dry means "bitter". I think of what Groucho Marx would say "Pardon me while I slip out of these wet clothes,
    and into a dry martini". I think the Looney Tunes used this quite a bit
    with their cartoons...one had Bugs Bunny as Groucho, and Elmer Fudd as Harpo. <G>

    I think it may also. The Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies used the Marx Brothers more a few times to get a good laugh. :)

    There is a deal on YouTube with "What's My Line?" where Groucho is one
    of the panelists (along with Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf, and Dorothy Kilgallen)...and it was apparently shortly after The Marx Brothers had disbanded. But, while some would say "Groucho destroyed the show", he was clearly having fun...and the audience loved it too.

    The first contestant was a jail warden (who Groucho said looked like
    Nikita Khruschev (the show was done Sep. 20, 1959))...and the second one
    was a female professional wrestler (this is where things got quite
    interesting <G>). The questions got around working with the opposite
    sex, and Dorothy Kilgallen got befuddled and asked something about
    "having sex". It brought the house down in raucous laughter...and
    Groucho reached over and shook her hand...to which, she lamented "He
    made me do that". <BG> The mystery guest was Claudette Colbert (who
    starred with Clark Gable in "It Happened One Night")...but Groucho
    got disqualified, as he took his blindfold off prematurely.

    You can watch it at:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6wxrLjJobM

    Daryl

    ... "I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury." -Groucho
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Mike Powell on Mon Jul 5 14:44:15 2021
    First Day as a Bartender
    Customer: I.ll have a martini, dry.

    Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don.t know how to tell you this...

    That one always used to throw me, too. How can a liquid be "dry"? :D

    Welcome to English where only the poorest of words have a single definition.

    I love this language! (only 'cause I know it so well!)

    I take it you already know
    Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
    Others may stumble, but not you,
    On hiccough, thorough, lough and through?
    Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
    To learn of less familiar traps?
    Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
    And dead: it's said like bed, not bead -
    For goodness sake don't call it deed!
    Watch out for meat and great and threat
    (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
    A moth is not a moth in mother,
    Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
    And here is not a match for there
    Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
    And then there's dose and rose and lose -
    Just look them up - and goose and choose,
    And cork and work and card and ward,
    And font and front and word and sword,
    And do and go and thwart and cart -
    Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
    A dreadful language? Man alive!
    I'd mastered it when I was five!

    Nine different pronuncisations for -ough in one sentence:

    A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the crowds
    on Lough Street in Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jul 5 15:19:54 2021
    I don't know. I bought a 64-bit laptop with Windows 10 on it (a Lenovo
    one from Best Buy), and that's what I use for stuff outside the BBS. I ordered a copy of Windows 10 32-bit from Best Buy (it was cheaper than
    from Microsoft), but I think the computers now require a faster CPU to
    run Windows 11...and I don't know if it'll have 32-bit support or not.
    I personally can NOT see discarding perfectly good working hardware and software, just to satisfy Microsoft's bottom line.

    I feel the same -- they all meet in cabal type meetings to divvy up the GDP. Gaes agreed to require all new hardware with the new Losedoze (10), cuz the hardware manufacturers felt he was getting too much of the pie. . .

    My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice
    I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on
    the
    Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such
    a
    great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and
    told
    her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

    That'd make a good deal for a pun contest. :)

    Might be why someoner wrote it.

    Be a good one for Callahan's one Punday Monday (ever read Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" series; if you like puns & scifi it's an amazing set of stories
    & a couple full length novels. . .

    He pays homage to some of his favorite stories & authors including R.A. Heinlein's cat who walks through walls making several appearances.

    In one story they take a dozen school buses & convoy down to Florida from
    their original homes in NYS, stoppoing off to watch a shuttle launch, & visiting Travis McGee's pier mooring in Key West.


    ... What do people in China call their good plates?

    &#39184;&#30424;

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to GEORGE POPE on Tue Jul 6 13:13:00 2021
    A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the crowds on Lough Street in Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

    That was a very telling poem, as is this prose above. I am not familiar
    with the would lough. Is that pronounced like 'low' or the -ow in "now"?

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * I'm a counsellor, not a contortionist! - Troi
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Mike Powell on Wed Jul 7 14:38:58 2021
    A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the crowds on Lough Street in Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

    That was a very telling poem, as is this prose above. I am not familiar with the would lough. Is that pronounced like 'low' or the -ow in "now"?

    I've been pronuncing it lock, like Loughheed of Lockheed-Martin & Loch Ness.
    ( a gutteral "ch/gh")

    Q: How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
    A: Pat them on the back while cooing, "There, Their, They're"

    Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
    A: C-A-T.

    Q: What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
    A: A teapot.

    Q: A word in this sentence is misspelled. What word is it?
    A: Misspelled

    Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
    A: Short

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Jul 7 21:17:00 2021
    George,

    I feel the same -- they all meet in cabal type meetings to divvy up the GDP. Gaes agreed to require all new hardware with the new Losedoze
    (10), cuz the hardware manufacturers felt he was getting too much of
    the pie. . .

    In talking with fellow ham radio operators on a digital/computer/technical traffic net last night, one noted that "32-bit applications are going the
    way of 16-bit, and it's going to be all 64-bit". I still like having the
    BBS with the legacy apps and programs...in case someone stumbles on an old computer they can use, and is told that a BBS is "a safe internet alternative". Of course, there are very few dial-up BBS's now, and most are telnet/web. But, in several aspects, BBS's are a lot different from the internet.

    A fellow ham radio operator I knew had found at a flea market, an interesting item. It was a portable computer deal with a keyboard, mouse, monitor, and only 2 floppy drives (one was 3.5" and the other 5.25"), but no hard drive (this was when my BBS was still dial-up only). So, I created a Windows 95 startup disk with just the command.com program...and the terminal mode for a dial-up BBS utility on another disk. So, he'd power on the unit with the command.com disk, then fire up the terminal program (GT Power Terminal Only (GTO)), and hook up his modem, then dial-in to the BBS.

    That'd make a good deal for a pun contest. :)

    Might be why someoner wrote it.

    These other 2 taglines come to mind:

    "Junior!! Quit Playing With Your Floppy!!".
    "Hard Disk??!! Lady, I misunderstood you!!".

    Be a good one for Callahan's one Punday Monday (ever read Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" series; if you like puns & scifi it's an
    amazing set of stories & a couple full length novels. . .

    Never heard of it. I did find 2 good websites, for taglines and puns respectively.

    https://www.taglinesgalore.com/index.html
    https://www.punsgalore.com

    He pays homage to some of his favorite stories & authors including R.A. Heinlein's cat who walks through walls making several appearances.

    I never read Heinlein, but my late wife apparently had read his stuff.
    His assessment of TANSTAFFL was so right...yet, so many refuse to accept
    that.

    In one story they take a dozen school buses & convoy down to Florida
    from their original homes in NYS, stoppoing off to watch a shuttle
    launch, & visiting Travis McGee's pier mooring in Key West.

    Nice.

    ... What do people in China call their good plates?

    &#39184;&#30424;

    You'll have to explain that one to me...that's how it showed up in my
    QWK packet.

    Daryl

    ... I'm Ohm of Borg. Resistance is relevant.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Jul 15 08:40:34 2021
    traffic net last night, one noted that "32-bit applications are going the way of 16-bit, and it's going to be all 64-bit". I still like having the
    BBS with the legacy apps and programs...in case someone stumbles on an old computer they can use, and is told that a BBS is "a safe internet alternative". Of course, there are very few dial-up BBS's now, and most
    are
    telnet/web. But, in several aspects, BBS's are a lot different from the internet.

    I 100% agrtee with you! For those with a proper DOSModem & only DOS (no
    Windows sgell connecting to the internet); BBSing is a grand alternative, & avoids the spiders caching all our HDD content. A friend here was doing the same -- preparing for a breakdown of the internet, with a solid & safe DOS
    BBS. His BBS was next door community here, in Surrey, named Saviour BBS.

    A fellow ham radio operator I knew had found at a flea market, an interesting item. It was a portable computer deal with a keyboard, mouse, monitor, and only 2 floppy drives (one was 3.5" and the other 5.25"), but
    no
    hard drive (this was when my BBS was still dial-up only). So, I created a Windows 95 startup disk with just the command.com program...and the
    terminal
    mode for a dial-up BBS utility on another disk. So, he'd power on the unit with the command.com disk, then fire up the terminal program (GT Power Terminal Only (GTO)), and hook up his modem, then dial-in to the BBS.

    What klind of computer was it? Sounds like my former TRS-80 Model IV (no HDD but could make a virtual RAMDisk using JCL(Job Control Language -- basically batchfile programming); 'twas a fun toy; I ended up giving it to a home care aide's daughter to use to type up her homework.

    Be a good one for Callahan's one Punday Monday (ever read Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" series; if you like puns & scifi it's an amazing set of stories & a couple full length novels. . .

    Never heard of it. I did find 2 good websites, for taglines and puns respectively.

    https://www.taglinesgalore.com/index.html
    https://www.punsgalore.com

    Look up Callahans' sites for good puns. Lots of fan-created options.

    Google: Callahan's Spider Robinson

    You'll enjoy the trek. .

    I get mosdt of my puns from Punstoppable (I google, e.g. "dog puns punstoppable" for a list of matching puns)


    I never read Heinlein, but my late wife apparently had read his stuff.
    His assessment of TANSTAFFL was so right...yet, so many refuse to accept that.

    Yup, There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, is a fair maxim to keep in
    mind while journeying through life. . .


    ... What do people in China call their good plates?

    &#39184;&#30424;

    You'll have to explain that one to me...that's how it showed up in my
    QWK packet.

    Was Chinese characters for "dinner plates"

    I asked my Chinese friend what it was like living in China.
    He said he can't complain. [works for N.Korea, too]

    Met a Chinese talking goose today, I asked him from what part of China he was from.
    Honk Kong

    Just performed in my first comedy concert in China
    The crowd was so impressed, they gave me a standing of asian

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Jul 16 11:27:00 2021
    George,

    telnet/web. But, in several aspects, BBS's are a lot different from the internet.

    I 100% agrtee with you! For those with a proper DOSModem & only DOS (no Windows sgell connecting to the internet); BBSing is a grand
    alternative, & avoids the spiders caching all our HDD content. A
    friend here was doing the same -- preparing for a breakdown of the internet, with a solid & safe DOS BBS. His BBS was next door community here, in Surrey, named Saviour BBS.

    While Google does some FTP file searches, I've blocked known spammers and hackers. At connect, they have to enter a random 6 digit number (CAPTCHA) to even get to the logon prompt. But, if they then enter something like Root, Admin, Sysop, Aquario, etc., they get disconnected.

    What klind of computer was it? Sounds like my former TRS-80 Model IV
    (no HDD but could make a virtual RAMDisk using JCL(Job Control Language
    -- basically batchfile programming); 'twas a fun toy; I ended up giving
    it to a home care aide's daughter to use to type up her homework.

    I'm not sure...that was several years ago, and I've slept since then.

    Look up Callahans' sites for good puns. Lots of fan-created options.

    Google: Callahan's Spider Robinson

    You'll enjoy the trek. .

    I won't get to it for a few days. I've got thunderstorms approaching now,
    and they'll be in the area for several days.

    I never read Heinlein, but my late wife apparently had read his stuff.
    His assessment of TANSTAFFL was so right...yet, so many refuse to accept that.

    Yup, There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, is a fair maxim to keep
    in mind while journeying through life. . .

    Someone, somewhere, has to pay for it. In some areas, there's a flat fee
    for the Emergency Room...apparently to cover some of the fees that so many
    of the patients (most who are indigent (sp?)) incur.

    ... What do people in China call their good plates?

    &#39184;&#30424;

    You'll have to explain that one to me...that's how it showed up in my
    QWK packet.

    Was Chinese characters for "dinner plates"

    I'm sorry I asked. :P

    Met a Chinese talking goose today, I asked him from what part of China
    he was from.
    Honk Kong

    Just don't goose him.

    Just performed in my first comedy concert in China
    The crowd was so impressed, they gave me a standing of asian

    Better than getting the thunderclap...a very violent form of VD. :P

    Daryl

    ... Too old to cut the mustard; but can still stir the mayonnaise.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jul 16 10:39:35 2021
    While Google does some FTP file searches, I've blocked known spammers
    and
    hackers. At connect, they have to enter a random 6 digit number (CAPTCHA)
    to
    even get to the logon prompt. But, if they then enter something like Root, Admin, Sysop, Aquario, etc., they get disconnected.

    Of courser -- you have your own personal login & I'm sure a backdoor one or
    two as well -- nobody would ever use root on your system remotely. ..

    Nothing better for these twonks but to kick them off unceremoniously.

    I threatened troublemakers with a machine I'd bought called a Freister's Device(named, in 1973, for the inventer) which can track a modem signal in reverse, even through Fido & BBSes, & send an overload signal to fry(that's
    why we say it like that) the modem & computer of anyone who I feel is misbehaving!

    It worked great until India joined Fidonet, then it was constant spam in this here echo; my then-moderator-partner ended up having to, eventually, cut the feed for all of India, as nobody down the line would comply with Fidonet
    rules (to comply with moderator orders regarding troublemakers); No idea if they ever got back on. . .

    Guess I can check once I've got my point set up & working right. . .

    What klind of computer was it? Sounds like my former TRS-80 Model IV (no HDD but could make a virtual RAMDisk using JCL(Job Control
    Language
    -- basically batchfile programming); 'twas a fun toy; I ended up
    giving
    it to a home care aide's daughter to use to type up her homework.

    I'm not sure...that was several years ago, and I've slept since then.

    I like that excuse!

    Don't worry, insomniacs, there's only 4 more sleeps til Christmas!

    Look up Callahans' sites for good puns. Lots of fan-created options.

    Google: Callahan's Spider Robinson

    You'll enjoy the trek. .

    I won't get to it for a few days. I've got thunderstorms approaching
    now,
    and they'll be in the area for several days.

    You don't have a decent UPS?

    Someone, somewhere, has to pay for it. In some areas, there's a flat fee for the Emergency Room...apparently to cover some of the fees that so many of the patients (most who are indigent (sp?)) incur.

    We've had to institute a userfee over the already-fuly paid cost of ER, to
    slow down those with the sniffles taking up space more needed by those
    bleeding copiously (or not breathing or bleeding)

    ... What do people in China call their good plates?

    &#39184;&#30424;

    You'll have to explain that one to me...that's how it showed up in my QWK packet.

    Was Chinese characters for "dinner plates"

    I'm sorry I asked. :P

    Did you expect non-punny from me, the Bishop of ROM?

    Better than getting the thunderclap...a very violent form of VD. :P

    No thanks, sounds like it might be painful (& noisy)

    Q: What does the god of thunder get when he drops his hammer?
    A: A Thor foot.

    Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me
    in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9
    year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.

    "Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.

    "Yeah? What?" She responded.

    "Was that you?" I called back.

    After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"

    I could not stop laughing.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sat Jul 17 11:58:00 2021
    George,

    Of courser -- you have your own personal login & I'm sure a backdoor
    one or two as well -- nobody would ever use root on your system
    remotely. ..

    They're looking for a Unix server deal, and of course, a BBS doesn't
    have that. It's the MIRAI bot or its variants.

    Nothing better for these twonks but to kick them off unceremoniously.

    I have blocked all these IP's and hosts that show "no name". What they
    do outside the BBS is their business...even if such activity could be considered as immoral, illegal, unlawful, sinful, etc. But, once online
    they are a guest in my residence, and I expect them to act accordingly.

    I threatened troublemakers with a machine I'd bought called a
    Freister's Device(named, in 1973, for the inventer) which can track a modem signal in reverse, even through Fido & BBSes, & send an overload signal to fry(that's why we say it like that) the modem & computer of anyone who I feel is misbehaving!

    I heard of a ham radio operator who was constantly interfered with by
    someone with an illegal amplifier (possibly a CB operator). Well, hams
    of a Technician class license or higher, on most bands, can transmit up
    to 1500 watts peak envelope power (PEP). One local ham quipped "All knobs
    to the right". <G> Well, one day, this ham had enough of this interference,
    so they did a bit of "fox hunting/direction finding" (that's a big aspect
    of the hobby, and there are competitions with that each year), and figured
    out who and where the offender was. So, the ham pointed the antenna at
    this joker, keyed up at 1.5 kW, and fried every bit of the offenders gear.

    It worked great until India joined Fidonet, then it was constant spam
    in this here echo; my then-moderator-partner ended up having to, eventually, cut the feed for all of India, as nobody down the line
    would comply with Fidonet rules (to comply with moderator orders
    regarding troublemakers); No idea if they ever got back on. . .

    I use the Peerblock utility to block countries known for hackers. And,
    as noted earlier, I block hostnames with "no name" in them. To me, in
    this day and age, if you want to let a total unknown stranger into your residence, you have a death wish. As long as they play by the rules I've
    laid down, their data stays confidential. The only exception is for a
    law enforcement subpeona.

    Don't worry, insomniacs, there's only 4 more sleeps til Christmas!

    One local Hobby Lobby had Christmas stuff up in June!! That reminds me of
    the country song "Redneck Woman", where she keeps her Christmas lights up
    all year long...and knows all the lyrics to every Charlie Daniels, Tanya Tucker, and Ol' Bocephus (Hank Williams, Jr.) song.

    You don't have a decent UPS?

    No amount of surge protection, UPS or otherwise, will protect you from a direct hit.

    I heard of a ham radio operator who spared no expense for lightning protection. You name it, he bought it, and installed it...price was no
    object (must be nice to have all that money).

    He took a direct hit, and this was the result.

    1) His antenna, tower, mast, and coaxial cable, were VAPORIZED...not a
    trace left.

    2) The inside of his UPS unit and computer tower were black as night...
    with the motherboards and circuits melted and fused together.

    3) He had scorch marks down the walls of his house.

    Each lightning bolt:

    A) Has 3 million volts and 300,000 amps of electricity.

    B) Can strike from 20 to 200 miles from the parent thunderstorm (the
    latter occurred in Oklahoma a few years ago)

    C) Can be 5 miles long, but only as wide as your thumb.

    D) Is 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit...5 times hotter than the sun's surface.

    In short, it's no contest.

    I've had too many close calls, and am a 2 time indirect lightning strike survivor myself, and have nervous system damage as a result.

    We've had to institute a userfee over the already-fuly paid cost of ER,
    to slow down those with the sniffles taking up space more needed by
    those bleeding copiously (or not breathing or bleeding)

    Too many hypochondriacs...it's noted on their tombstone "I told you I was sick!!". :P

    Better than getting the thunderclap...a very violent form of VD. :P

    No thanks, sounds like it might be painful (& noisy)

    Lightning and hail out of certain orifices would indicate something is
    wrong. :P

    Q: What does the god of thunder get when he drops his hammer?
    A: A Thor foot.

    Very much so.

    Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying
    something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to
    our older 12 year old in her room just next door.

    "Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.

    "Yeah? What?" She responded.

    "Was that you?" I called back.

    After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"

    I could not stop laughing.

    That was one wicked fart. :P

    Daryl

    ... Deliver a pizza? Whoever heard of a liver pizza?
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jul 18 13:22:34 2021
    I have blocked all these IP's and hosts that show "no name". What they
    do outside the BBS is their business...even if such activity could be considered as immoral, illegal, unlawful, sinful, etc. But, once online
    they are a guest in my residence, and I expect them to act accordingly.

    Quite reasonably. As an echo mod, I'm expected by sysops who carry me, to
    keep things as advertised going into their BBS. . .

    In return, if there's a tywonk on their BBS & I identify him/her, I expect
    the systop to boot them; if the sysop refuses, I ask the next host up to cut off that BBS, & so on up the chain of Fido command (I used to know 1:1/1 here in BC, before he died!)

    I heard of a ham radio operator who was constantly interfered with by someone with an illegal amplifier (possibly a CB operator). Well, hams
    of a Technician class license or higher, on most bands, can transmit up
    to 1500 watts peak envelope power (PEP). One local ham quipped "All knobs
    to the right". <G> Well, one day, this ham had enough of this
    interference,
    so they did a bit of "fox hunting/direction finding" (that's a big aspect
    of the hobby, and there are competitions with that each year), and figured out who and where the offender was. So, the ham pointed the antenna at
    this joker, keyed up at 1.5 kW, and fried every bit of the offenders gear.

    Rule #1: Don't be a jackass
    Rule #2: See Rule #1

    It worked great until India joined Fidonet, then it was constant spam in this here echo; my then-moderator-partner ended up having to, eventually, cut the feed for all of India, as nobody down the line would comply with Fidonet rules (to comply with moderator orders regarding troublemakers); No idea if they ever got back on. . .

    I use the Peerblock utility to block countries known for hackers. And,
    as noted earlier, I block hostnames with "no name" in them. To me, in
    this day and age, if you want to let a total unknown stranger into your residence, you have a death wish. As long as they play by the rules I've laid down, their data stays confidential. The only exception is for a
    law enforcement subpeona.

    Oh, we didn't do it out of rumour that they were bad -- they demonstrated it
    & refused to comply with Fidonet rules & moderator directives. We were eyewitnesses o the problem, so good riddance to bad rubbish & the echo ramn nicely for mamny years after (35 years later & still going here in FUNNY
    Jokes and Stories!)


    You don't have a decent UPS?

    No amount of surge protection, UPS or otherwise, will protect you from a direct hit.

    Don't be the tallest thing in your vicinity & you'll be fine to avoid direct hits?

    Lies your school's science teachers told you:
    1) Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place (usually it does!)
    2) the days get longer in summer (quite the exact opposite)

    Each lightning bolt:

    A) Has 3 million volts and 300,000 amps of electricity.

    B) Can strike from 20 to 200 miles from the parent thunderstorm (the
    latter occurred in Oklahoma a few years ago)

    C) Can be 5 miles long, but only as wide as your thumb.

    D) Is 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit...5 times hotter than the sun's surface.

    My 12yo son has had these facts memorized since he was 7!

    I've had too many close calls, and am a 2 time indirect lightning strike survivor myself, and have nervous system damage as a result.

    How3 ios it possible? You like standing in boats in the centre of lakes?
    Or standing alone in a large flat field?

    For a Ham antenna of awesome proporrtions, can't you set it up a mile away & include a decent lightning rod, & run the cable underground to your home
    which is equipped with lightning rods?

    ... Deliver a pizza? Whoever heard of a liver pizza?

    Oh, if there's liver on a pizza, I won't even attempt to de-liver it, I'm
    just tossing it in the garbage!

    They accidentally delivered a pizza missing the sauce, toppings, & cheese to Homer Simpson, who took one look at it & exclaimied "Dough!"

    (I just wrote that one); for funny, Google up "Hell's Pizza billboards"

    When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
    I kneaded the dough.

    I accidentally burned my Hawaiian pizza.
    Should have used aloha temperature.

    (actuallyl, the Hawaiian Pizza is a Canadian creation & still a favourite!)
    I used to order it woithg capicolli(spicy ham) instead of ham, & add on jalapenos, banana peppers, & chilis. . .

    hoo, baby! My whole face was a-tingling! (in a happy way)

    Want to hear a joke about pizza?
    Never mind, itÆs too cheesy.
    Olive it anyway!

    What type of person doesn't like pizza?
    A weirdough!

    A musical demon delivered my pizza.
    He was a Personal Pan.

    I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.
    It cuts like a knife.

    Today I cooked yp an Italian flatbread with the perfect amount & types of toppings & a halfg inch of shredded cheese, then I broiled it. . .

    It was my masterpizza!

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Jul 19 11:49:00 2021
    George,

    In return, if there's a tywonk on their BBS & I identify him/her, I
    expect the systop to boot them; if the sysop refuses, I ask the next
    host up to cut off that BBS, & so on up the chain of Fido command (I
    used to know 1:1/1 here in BC, before he died!)

    I liked the documentation with my former BBS software, GT Power. In a
    file "TRASHCAN.BBS", the original author, Paul Meiners, noted "This file
    will test your creativity <GRIN!>". All the dirty words went in there,
    and if I caller tried to logon with one of these, they got dumped.

    Restricted Access is basically one level above banishment.

    Rule #1: Don't be a jackass
    Rule #2: See Rule #1

    Rule 1 is also "The Boss (or Spouse or Significant Other) is always right".

    Oh, we didn't do it out of rumour that they were bad -- they
    demonstrated it & refused to comply with Fidonet rules & moderator directives. We were eyewitnesses o the problem, so good riddance to
    bad rubbish & the echo ramn nicely for mamny years after (35 years
    later & still going here in FUNNY Jokes and Stories!)

    I'm not the only BBS around...folks don't have to logon if they don't
    want to.

    Don't be the tallest thing in your vicinity & you'll be fine to avoid direct hits?

    That's not always the case.

    How3 ios it possible? You like standing in boats in the centre of
    lakes? Or standing alone in a large flat field?

    Both were in Hialeah, Florida, just northwest of Miami.

    1) I was 3 years old, on the couch in the living room, with my hands
    on the metal frame of a big plate glass window in the front room,
    watching lightning dance across the sky from a thunderstorm in the
    area (I thought "this is cool!"). We had coconut trees in the front
    yard, and one of the fronds was on the house. Lightning hit the tree,
    and with moisture around the metal frame, where my hands were, the
    combination of the flash and the shock, made me start screaming bloody
    murder. It blew tiles off the bathroom wall, sent sparks out the back
    of the house, and the neighbor across the street said "it looked like
    the house was encased in a ball of fire". My Dad called the Fire
    Department to come out and check things. For 10 years afterwards, you
    could not take a flash picture of me, as I'd scream in terror from the flashback (pun intended).

    2) I was 16 years old, and had just finished delivering an afternoon
    newspaper route, in a tropical thunderstorm. It was like taking a
    shower with my clothes on. I got home, looking like a drowned rat;
    closed the garage door, parked the bicycle, and went to strip out
    of my wet clothes, so I wouldn't get chilled. When my wet hand touched
    the washing machine (to balance myself), lightning hit the house
    again.

    However, I carry no electrical charge, and can be handled safely.

    ... Deliver a pizza? Whoever heard of a liver pizza?

    Oh, if there's liver on a pizza, I won't even attempt to de-liver it,
    I'm just tossing it in the garbage!

    Same here. Some things don't belong on a pizza.

    They accidentally delivered a pizza missing the sauce, toppings, &
    cheese to Homer Simpson, who took one look at it & exclaimied "Dough!"

    Or when a certain treat was made, a guy stuck his finger into the
    batter, and was told "Get your finger out of the dough, nut!!". <G>

    I accidentally burned my Hawaiian pizza.
    Should have used aloha temperature.

    That was a real pain in the grass, skirting the issue.

    Daryl

    ... If Barbie's so popular, why must you buy her friends??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jul 23 14:09:29 2021
    I liked the documentation with my former BBS software, GT Power. In a
    file "TRASHCAN.BBS", the original author, Paul Meiners, noted "This file will test your creativity <GRIN!>". All the dirty words went in there,
    and if I caller tried to logon with one of these, they got dumped.

    Reasonable -- Most boards that allowed adult language in locao chat area designated as such, didn't allow raunchy usernames, as then it's a bad ad for the BBS if the user gets onto some nets (like FamilyNet, on which I used to
    be a Mod)

    Restricted Access is basically one level above banishment.

    Makers sense -- I've bnever had a problem -- I generally got upgraded to visiting sysop status on the boards I was a regular on. . . I think youj'd
    done so, too, for me, as I was the farthest you'd ever had a dial-in call
    from. I was about 3,000 miles from you, via the I-90. . . :)


    Rule #1: Don't be a jackass
    Rule #2: See Rule #1

    Rule 1 is also "The Boss (or Spouse or Significant Other) is always right".

    That's the original; I edited it for the context. . .


    Oh, we didn't do it out of rumour that they were bad -- they demonstrated it & refused to comply with Fidonet rules & moderator directives. We were eyewitnesses o the problem, so good riddance to bad rubbish & the echo ramn nicely for mamny years after (35 years later & still going here in FUNNY Jokes and Stories!)

    I'm not the only BBS around...folks don't have to logon if they don't
    want to.

    Yup, don't like "my roof, my rules" get on out. . .

    I'm the only one who MUST be here! :D

    Both were in Hialeah, Florida, just northwest of Miami.

    1) I was 3 years old, on the couch in the living room, with my hands
    on the metal frame of a big plate glass window in the front room,
    watching lightning dance across the sky from a thunderstorm in the
    area (I thought "this is cool!"). We had coconut trees in the front
    yard, and one of the fronds was on the house. Lightning hit the tree,
    and with moisture around the metal frame, where my hands were, the combination of the flash and the shock, made me start screaming bloody murder. It blew tiles off the bathroom wall, sent sparks out the back
    of the house, and the neighbor across the street said "it looked like
    the house was encased in a ball of fire". My Dad called the Fire
    Department to come out and check things. For 10 years afterwards, you
    could not take a flash picture of me, as I'd scream in terror from the flashback (pun intended).

    2) I was 16 years old, and had just finished delivering an afternoon newspaper route, in a tropical thunderstorm. It was like taking a
    shower with my clothes on. I got home, looking like a drowned rat;
    closed the garage door, parked the bicycle, and went to strip out
    of my wet clothes, so I wouldn't get chilled. When my wet hand touched
    the washing machine (to balance myself), lightning hit the house
    again.

    Ouch! I'd have been suddenly very a-fearin' the Lord! (aware of His might, & mighty respectful, too)

    However, I carry no electrical charge, and can be handled safely.

    I'll never find out, don't worry. . .

    ... Deliver a pizza? Whoever heard of a liver pizza?

    Oh, if there's liver on a pizza, I won't even attempt to de-liver it, I'm just tossing it in the garbage!

    Same here. Some things don't belong on a pizza.

    I don't care what the liver's on,. it's going in the trash, on top of the
    kale!

    I'm cutting back on t he meat as much as I can, but I draw the line somewhere before kale as a substitute & I don't consider myself Vegan or vegetarian,
    just a guy trying to remember that meat as food was just a concession to our sin, not a gift. . .

    Yes, I know of Peter's vision, but I see that more as metaphor, using a previously allowed concession as being recognizable.

    There's no sin in eating meat, but I feel, for myself, it's best to cut it
    out (plus too much in my diet gives me Uric Acid stones in my pooor beaten up kidneys)

    ... If Barbie's so popular, why must you buy her friends??

    Corporate profits, I'd presume. . .

    puns from Barbie dolls. . .

    I just do not like Russian dolls.
    They're so full of themselves.

    I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints
    left for the feet.
    He had Tic Tac toes

    The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
    It was a Barbie queue.

    My friend said he made a voodoo doll of me.
    I think he's pulling my leg.

    Tried to make a doll with a clock instead of an abdomen.
    It was a waist of time.


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sat Jul 24 14:07:00 2021
    George,

    Reasonable -- Most boards that allowed adult language in locao chat
    area designated as such, didn't allow raunchy usernames, as then it's a bad ad for the BBS if the user gets onto some nets (like FamilyNet, on which I used to be a Mod)

    There was one local board where the users handle was expletives for the
    first and last name (the F word and the S word). I left an urgent note for
    the Sysop to "ban this fool".

    Makers sense -- I've bnever had a problem -- I generally got upgraded
    to visiting sysop status on the boards I was a regular on. . . I think youj'd done so, too, for me, as I was the farthest you'd ever had a dial-in call from. I was about 3,000 miles from you, via the I-90. . .
    :)

    If they report glitches, they're more likely to stay in my good graces. :)

    Rule #1: Don't be a jackass
    Rule #2: See Rule #1

    Rule 1 is also "The Boss (or Spouse or Significant Other) is always right".

    That's the original; I edited it for the context. . .

    And boss spelled backwards is double SOB. <G>

    I'm not the only BBS around...folks don't have to logon if they don't
    want to.

    Yup, don't like "my roof, my rules" get on out. . .

    That's what my parents told my brother. He moved out when he turned 18.
    I did just before I got married.

    Ouch! I'd have been suddenly very a-fearin' the Lord! (aware of His
    might, & mighty respectful, too)

    There was a case on May 25, 1987 (IIRC) on Lake Bisteneau, Louisiana,
    near Shreveport. It was on a Sunday, and these 4 guys went out fishing
    on the lake (it could've been any day of the week, though). A summertime thunderstorm came up, and one guy stood up, shook his fist toward Heaven,
    and dared God to strike him dead.

    He was obliged and instantly killed...and by rights, the other 3 should
    have died as well. However, they were totally unharmed. That's an example
    of Divine Judgment and Protection together...can you say "Thou Shalt Not
    Tempt The Lord Thy God??". :P

    I'll never find out, don't worry. . .

    The hair and a few other things might stand up. <eg>

    I don't care what the liver's on,. it's going in the trash, on top of
    the kale!

    Now, if it's fried beef liver and sauteed onions, I'm in. Otherwise,
    forget it!!

    ... If Barbie's so popular, why must you buy her friends??

    Corporate profits, I'd presume. . .

    A lonely blonde?? <G>

    puns from Barbie dolls. . .

    I just do not like Russian dolls.
    They're so full of themselves.

    Especially if one likes a Moss Cow.

    I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe
    mints left for the feet.
    He had Tic Tac toes

    Pound that one into submission.

    The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
    It was a Barbie queue.

    Mannequins roasting on an open fire...

    My friend said he made a voodoo doll of me.
    I think he's pulling my leg.

    Will the person have the voodoo of me please scratch my butt?? It's
    itching real bad, and I'm in a public place.

    Tried to make a doll with a clock instead of an abdomen.
    It was a waist of time.

    A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

    Daryl

    ... A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Aug 1 13:35:53 2021
    There was one local board where the users handle was expletives for the first and last name (the F word and the S word). I left an urgent note for the Sysop to "ban this fool".

    Sadly, on some boards Io've been on, that'd have been the 15yo 'anky' sysop!
    & complaining gets the complainer banned after being publically humiliated!
    (I didn't stay around long on those. . . got the lay of the land & gone to
    one of dozens of other new BBSes opening in my area code each month in the '90s!

    Usually 'twas because I hadn't done my research fully & missed it was a "free speech BBS" (code word for 12yos acting their age)

    I was always respected & appreciated for my experience & willingness to help (was cosys a couple times, just for laughs)


    If they report glitches, they're more likely to stay in my good graces.

    Having called hundredfs of BBSes, I was in a good position to know what looks tright or wrong, & to suggest positive ideas on how to fix any errors or lackings. (I was raised to not complain unless I was prepared to offer constructive assistance)

    And boss spelled backwards is double SOB. <G>

    I've heard that, but thanksa be to God, I've never had one. . .

    My bosses have all been good. My current is best of the lot.

    [my roof, my rules]:
    That's what my parents told my brother. He moved out when he turned 18.
    I did just before I got married.

    You did it right: if we all tayed at home (if not too dysfunctional) until marrying, there'd be less divorce & children of broken homes.

    I left jme at age 12, never to return. . . I knew the my roof, my rules bit,
    & wasn't agreeable to it, so I set off to seek my fortune (had fun, sure, but no fortune)

    Ended up owning a video arcade at one point, for a winter spent in -40
    weather, every day 24/7; every day I had to shovel 3' of snmow out from my storefront, whether it snowed or not. (unlike sopping/heavy west coast snow, snow in the north is light & fly-away); I never had to walk anywhere -- had free can rides any time I wanted, as my tip for providing dispatch services
    to them from noon to 3am 7 days. (I had 2-way radio in my arcade, with phone line CCed from the taxi stand to me)

    Good times. I had fun, playing 100+ hands of cribbae a day (never for $$), including crib solitaire! & when it ws slow(no cribbage players), I handcoded BASIC programs that never got programmed into my Vic=20 back home in BC!

    Q: Why do spiders make the best programmers?
    A: They're great at debugging & can recreate a web overnight

    So you know the programming language C...
    next is C++, or C2 since its the second one, then there's C# or C3 since the
    # symbol is just shift 3.

    I can't wait for the next iteration, C4! I hear its gonna be... A blast!

    Q: What was Princess Leia's LEAST favorite programming language?
    A: Jabbascript

    My Dad dropped his phone in a cup of coffee...
    After a stunned silence...

    "At least it runs Java now."







    Ouch! I'd have been suddenly very a-fearin' the Lord! (aware of His might, & mighty respectful, too)

    There was a case on May 25, 1987 (IIRC) on Lake Bisteneau, Louisiana,
    near Shreveport. It was on a Sunday, and these 4 guys went out fishing
    on the lake (it could've been any day of the week, though). A summertime thunderstorm came up, and one guy stood up, shook his fist toward Heaven, and dared God to strike him dead.

    He was obliged and instantly killed...and by rights, the other 3 should have died as well. However, they were totally unharmed. That's an example
    of Divine Judgment and Protection together...can you say "Thou Shalt Not Tempt The Lord Thy God??". :P

    I'll never find out, don't worry. . .

    The hair and a few other things might stand up. <eg>

    I don't care what the liver's on,. it's going in the trash, on top of the kale!

    Now, if it's fried beef liver and sauteed onions, I'm in. Otherwise, forget it!!

    ... If Barbie's so popular, why must you buy her friends??

    Corporate profits, I'd presume. . .

    A lonely blonde?? <G>

    puns from Barbie dolls. . .

    I just do not like Russian dolls.
    They're so full of themselves.

    Especially if one likes a Moss Cow.

    I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.
    He had Tic Tac toes

    Pound that one into submission.

    The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
    It was a Barbie queue.

    Mannequins roasting on an open fire...

    My friend said he made a voodoo doll of me.
    I think he's pulling my leg.

    Will the person have the voodoo of me please scratch my butt?? It's itching real bad, and I'm in a public place.

    Tried to make a doll with a clock instead of an abdomen.
    It was a waist of time.

    A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

    Daryl

    ... A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Aug 2 12:07:00 2021
    George,

    Sadly, on some boards Io've been on, that'd have been the 15yo 'anky' sysop! & complaining gets the complainer banned after being publically humiliated! (I didn't stay around long on those. . . got the lay of the land & gone to one of dozens of other new BBSes opening in my area code each month in the '90s!

    I have to wonder if they're mature enough to deal with running a BBS.
    Most folks today can't or won't accept 2 facts:

    1) Life is NOT "Fair". Fair is a call in baseball, a weather term, or
    a carnival.

    2) Life is NOT "Burger King". You can NOT always 'Have It Your Way'. Or,
    as Borg Burgers notes, "We do it OUR WAY -- your way is irrelevant".

    Usually 'twas because I hadn't done my research fully & missed it was a "free speech BBS" (code word for 12yos acting their age)

    They need to read the bulletin over here "You Want To Be A Sysop??".
    Several things are funny, but sadly, most are true...and still are being
    done today.

    I was always respected & appreciated for my experience & willingness to help (was cosys a couple times, just for laughs)

    Too many in the world have the mindset that the world owes them a living,
    it revolves around them, and everyone else be damned. To me, it's more like "what can I do for you??". I can tell if someone's trying to take advantage
    of me. Now, as for the BBS setup, I don't need to be spoon fed everything
    from start to finish. Just show me the basic structure on setup, and I'll
    take it from there. Yet, too many folks today are lazy, and want everything done for them...then, they have the audacity to take credit for it, when
    they didn't do a damn thing.

    Having called hundredfs of BBSes, I was in a good position to know what looks tright or wrong, & to suggest positive ideas on how to fix any errors or lackings. (I was raised to not complain unless I was prepared
    to offer constructive assistance)

    If folks spot glitches, and they let me know, they're more inclined to
    stay in my good graces. The two recent glitches:

    1) The feedback from the matrix logon quit working...it wouldn't send
    the email to me, so I never got it. I had to disable that portion of
    it. I tested it, and saw the glitch, and growled "Damn!". At least I
    could disable the one option, and keep the program.

    2) A glitch in one of the message area postings, that may have been
    the result of a bad control code (one letter makes all the difference).

    And boss spelled backwards is double SOB. <G>

    I've heard that, but thanksa be to God, I've never had one. . .

    I have, unfortunately. They tried to get me to come back, after I
    had resigned, because of my health; and I apologized, saying "My
    body won't let me do it anymore".

    My bosses have all been good. My current is best of the lot.

    I still think of that story I told you of the textile business
    in New England, run by a Jewish guy. A fire before Thanksgiving
    heavily damaged the place, and the employees were looking at no
    pay for the holidays and no work until spring. Yet, the insurance
    settled quickly, and they rebuilt quickly. The owner still paid
    them during the downtime, so when the place re-opened, they were
    ready to kiss his feet. He was there when they needed him, so they
    were ready to sacrifice and work extra to help him. I think the
    only way one quit working there was if they medically could not,
    or if they died.

    I love going into a business where you can clearly see that the
    employees enjoy their job.

    You did it right: if we all tayed at home (if not too dysfunctional)
    until marrying, there'd be less divorce & children of broken homes.

    I think the empty nest syndrome kicked in, as my Mom and Dad were
    originally against me getting married. I didn't invite them to the
    wedding, although they found out when they saw the marriage license
    request in the paper. Yet, they were amazed at how well I handled it.

    Good times. I had fun, playing 100+ hands of cribbae a day (never for
    $$), including crib solitaire! & when it ws slow(no cribbage players),
    I handcoded BASIC programs that never got programmed into my Vic=20
    back home in BC!

    The only games I play are on the BBS...I wish I had more time to do so.

    Q: Why do spiders make the best programmers?
    A: They're great at debugging & can recreate a web overnight

    So you know the programming language C...
    next is C++, or C2 since its the second one, then there's C# or C3
    since the # symbol is just shift 3.

    I can't wait for the next iteration, C4! I hear its gonna be... A
    blast!

    Q: What was Princess Leia's LEAST favorite programming language?
    A: Jabbascript

    My Dad dropped his phone in a cup of coffee...
    After a stunned silence...

    "At least it runs Java now."

    Wasn't there a deal to get rid of that, because of security issues??

    Daryl

    ... Newspaper Headline: "Crack Found on Governor's Daughter."
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Aug 4 18:37:13 2021
    I have to wonder if they're mature enough to deal with running a BBS.
    Most folks today can't or won't accept 2 facts:

    Mjany weren't & just played host to fellow immature idiots, acting especially toadish to those who unwittingly joined without knowing the lay of the land..

    1) Life is NOT "Fair". Fair is a call in baseball, a weather term, or
    a carnival.

    True 'nough!

    "I started with nothing & still have most of it left."

    I'll help anyone out until I see they're just trtakers (I try to reserve my time for fellow givers)

    Takers never know the blessed joy of "Receiving" only the "ho hum" of
    "Getting"

    2) Life is NOT "Burger King". You can NOT always 'Have It Your Way'. Or,
    as Borg Burgers notes, "We do it OUR WAY -- your way is irrelevant".

    I point out: "Het, buddy, you didn't make the ryles, nor create the game board"; play right or walk away.

    If folks spot glitches, and they let me know, they're more inclined to stay in my good graces. The two recent glitches:

    If I spot any, I go out of my way to ensure the sysop knows.

    I have, unfortunately. They tried to get me to come back, after I
    had resigned, because of my health; and I apologized, saying "My
    body won't let me do it anymore".

    One job I had, paying 40% more than minimum wage was dangerous to the health, so I gave my two weeks notice; he offered me 50% more than cvurrentot stay; I pointed out that my mind was made up, but thanks for the respect. He
    decideed to waive the two week's nmotice & even gave me a week's pay as a sendoff (mutual respect works, plus I was his best producer in over 20 years per the supervisors who'd been there 30 years)

    Ourt of respect for his g iving me a job, I maintain loyalty by keeping his secrets, even now, 22 years later!

    I still think of that story I told you of the textile business
    in New England, run by a Jewish guy. A fire before Thanksgiving
    heavily damaged the place, and the employees were looking at no
    pay for the holidays and no work until spring. Yet, the insurance
    settled quickly, and they rebuilt quickly. The owner still paid
    them during the downtime, so when the place re-opened, they were
    ready to kiss his feet. He was there when they needed him, so they
    were ready to sacrifice and work extra to help him. I think the
    only way one quit working there was if they medically could not,
    or if they died.

    That's the way to do it!

    I heard lots of fun stories from truckers during my hitchhiking years, like
    the mill owner who gave a huge (2-months pay) bonus every Xmas to his
    workers, & paid better than any other mill of the type.

    One year a union rep came in, riled up the workers & got them to signh up to his union. He declared a strrikem, to get more money, & the owner came out
    of his office, onto the catwalk, above the picketing workers to tear up a
    bunch of cheques & to say, "That's the end of your Xmas bonuses, boys!"

    Another generously-paid shop went union, shut him down by picketing & the
    owner just packed up himself, his family, & his deep bank account & opened a new shop a couple towns over. Supposedly the picketring was going on at the
    old site for years after!

    I've no real idea of the trueness of these stories, but they sound good & bespeak of reasonable comeuppance, IMO.

    I freaked out the shop foreman of a paper mill across from the fast food
    place I worked at for $5/hour in the late '80s when he offered me a job starting at $16/hour, the next Monday morning. I asked if it was union; he
    said "of course" & I said "No thanks, I'm happy enough here."; he was also offering me to go from a 72-hour work week to 37.5 hours, but no thanks; I worked only what I'd agreed to & was able to do. (& I had cute young gals for coworkers at the restaurant vs sweaty old men at the mill)

    I choose contentment(aka "enough") for my life, not "more"

    I hated my job as a bowling alley union rep
    They were always having strikes

    The soviet union was doomed to fail.
    The red flags were everywhere.

    Did you hear the announcement from the Janitors' Union?
    They proposed some sweeping changes.




    I love going into a business where you can clearly see that the
    employees enjoy their job.

    You did it right: if we all tayed at home (if not too dysfunctional) until marrying, there'd be less divorce & children of broken homes.

    I think the empty nest syndrome kicked in, as my Mom and Dad were originally against me getting married. I didn't invite them to the
    wedding, although they found out when they saw the marriage license
    request in the paper. Yet, they were amazed at how well I handled it.

    Good times. I had fun, playing 100+ hands of cribbae a day (never for $$), including crib solitaire! & when it ws slow(no cribbage
    players),
    I handcoded BASIC programs that never got programmed into my Vic=20 back home in BC!

    The only games I play are on the BBS...I wish I had more time to do so.

    Q: Why do spiders make the best programmers?
    A: They're great at debugging & can recreate a web overnight

    So you know the programming language C...
    next is C++, or C2 since its the second one, then there's C# or C3 since the # symbol is just shift 3.

    I can't wait for the next iteration, C4! I hear its gonna be... A blast!

    Q: What was Princess Leia's LEAST favorite programming language?
    A: Jabbascript

    My Dad dropped his phone in a cup of coffee...
    After a stunned silence...

    "At least it runs Java now."

    Wasn't there a deal to get rid of that, because of security issues??

    Daryl

    ... Newspaper Headline: "Crack Found on Governor's Daughter."
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Aug 5 10:19:00 2021
    George,

    1) Life is NOT "Fair". Fair is a call in baseball, a weather term, or
    a carnival.

    True 'nough!

    I got that from the late Jack Kinsella, who had a Bible Prophecy website called "The Omega Letter". I've had so much experience with that lately,
    that it's not funny.

    "I started with nothing & still have most of it left."

    I can afford to give a piece of my mind, as I have nothing to lose.

    I'll help anyone out until I see they're just takers (I try to
    reserve my time for fellow givers).

    Same here. There was an instance in ham radio (the elderly man is dead
    now), but he basically wanted the stuff done for him. I told him, "If I
    get it set it up, and you muck it up (ham radio operators are prone to
    tinker and experiment with stuff), we'll be right back where we started.
    And, I told him that "I'm not going to be available at your every beckon
    call".

    Takers never know the blessed joy of "Receiving" only the "ho hum" of "Getting"

    That described my first fiancee'. She wanted me to always take her to the most expensive restaurant, always pick up the tab, and forsake all of my hobbies outside of work, and spend every waking moment with her. That is a
    one sided relationship, and that didn't work. I broke off the engagement
    just before Christmas in 1984. She surely thought I was a Scrooge, but I
    felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.

    My late wife didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or Olive Garden.
    To her, "food was food"...to which I agree. She also asked "Who's paying
    for this??". I'd usually give her a big toothy grin <G>, and she'd say
    "I was afraid of that". But, there were a couple of times that I asked
    if we could go dutch (each pay for our own), or if she'd pick up the tab,
    and she NEVER complained about that. We loved each others company so much,
    and she truly was a gem of a woman. In fact, there is a Biblical Proverb,
    that correctly notes "A virtuous woman is worth more than rubies".

    2) Life is NOT "Burger King". You can NOT always 'Have It Your Way'. Or,
    as Borg Burgers notes, "We do it OUR WAY -- your way is irrelevant".

    I point out: "Het, buddy, you didn't make the ryles, nor create the
    game board"; play right or walk away.

    Or in life itself, since it's The Lord's Creation, it's His Rules. Yet,
    so many have a big problem with that. He has been good to me lately, with giving me a bunch of poetry for the collection (which is on a page off of
    my personal homepage)...over 510 poems to His Glory. There are some on my hobbies of the BBS, ham radio, and square dancing...but most are "sacred".
    Yet, I can NOT write poetry...I can tell when He's inspiring me to write such...and I give Him The Praise And Glory For it. You can find that at https://www.theweatherwonder.com/swj.htm -- designed as a ministry to the
    saved (those who've repented of their sin, and accepted Christ as their
    Saviour and Messiah), and a witness to the lost (those who have not). To
    me, everyone gets at least one chance to hear the Gospel. The plan of
    salvation is so EASY, yet most reject it because of its simplicity. When
    I first heard the hymn "The Old Rugged Cross", I literally broke down,
    and cried.

    If I spot any, I go out of my way to ensure the sysop knows.

    Yeah, I do as well. I've got every verified user set at the max time
    one can get in a 24 hour period...but the Visiting Sysops and ham radio operators have access to extra message areas, file areas, and doors.

    One job I had, paying 40% more than minimum wage was dangerous to the health, so I gave my two weeks notice; he offered me 50% more than cvurrentot stay; I pointed out that my mind was made up, but thanks for the respect. He decideed to waive the two week's nmotice & even gave
    me a week's pay as a sendoff (mutual respect works, plus I was his best producer in over 20 years per the supervisors who'd been there 30
    years)

    That was nice of him.

    Ourt of respect for his g iving me a job, I maintain loyalty by keeping his secrets, even now, 22 years later!

    I'm sure he's glad to have you as a confidante (sp?).

    I've no real idea of the trueness of these stories, but they sound good
    & bespeak of reasonable comeuppance, IMO.

    So many want to work from 12 to 1, take an hour off for lunch, and get a
    full check...like the young people nowadays. I was born and raised with the deal that "the man is the breadwinner"...and had my health not declined so where I had to resign, I'd still be working. But, with now becoming a heart patient with atrial flutter, the consolation is that they won't take away
    my disability now. But, once I turn 65, I'll get less money...it's as if
    they feel the elderly and infirmed don't deserve to live (they're "playing God"). Yet, none of us is getting out of life alive. Needless to say, the morticians have "job security", and their business isn't dead...or is it?? :P

    I had to go to the Emergency Room on July 29, and was admitted to the hospital until August 1, with atrial flutter. My heart was racing at 155
    beats per minute. They tried 2 deals in the IV in the ER, but those did
    not work. So, they put me on a cardiac IV drip, which stabilized it. I
    am now on a blood thinner, and a medication to control the heart rate and
    blood pressure. Next week, I'll undergo a chemical stress test, and an echocardiogram, plus get blood work done. I have to take a full medlist
    out there today...I thought the discharge instructions from the hospital
    last week would've been sufficient, but I was wrong. Today, I just have
    to go by, and drop the stuff off. He said that I do NOT need to worry about
    a pacemaker right now.

    I choose contentment(aka "enough") for my life, not "more"

    If you're not happy with the job, it makes life miserable.

    I hated my job as a bowling alley union rep
    They were always having strikes

    From Hollywood Squares:

    Peter Marshall: "In bowling, what's a perfect score??".
    Rose Marie: "Ralph, the pin boy". <G>

    The soviet union was doomed to fail.
    The red flags were everywhere.

    And, still are. I have a red and white square dance towel, to wipe
    my brow at a dance...but sometimes, I'll wave one or the other in the
    air, to flag things to a stop, or surrender. <G> However, a good caller
    will not be trying to break the floor down. But, you also have to have
    good dancers, knowing what moves to do.

    Did you hear the announcement from the Janitors' Union?
    They proposed some sweeping changes.

    They probably got swept under the rug.

    Daryl

    ... And Adam asked 'What's a Headache?'
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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