• Childbirth Humor

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Sun Mar 7 00:04:28 2021
    Childbirth Humor:

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
    borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
    in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
    normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Mon Jun 7 00:04:20 2021
    Childbirth Humor:

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
    borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
    in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
    normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    Received from FranCMT2.
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 8 10:54:10 2021
    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    It's worked for umpteen millennia, but now they want to switch it up; a possibly(probably) true Los Angeles story:

    A: I heard you just had a baby?
    B: Yes.
    A: Is it a boy or a girl?
    B: How should I know? It's not old enough to TELL me yet!

    I used to tell people, "I hope to have three kids -- one of each." & let THEM figure it out!

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Ray Romano does a funny stand up bit about his twins, & speaks of the key difference betweebn boys & girls.

    When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on your forehead.
    . . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!


    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    This is the new normal. HAH! Kids are your punishment for enjoying sex!

    In the first few months of my wife's pregnancy she wasn't showing
    The baby was inapparent

    Bought a home pregnancy test.
    Turns out, my house is pregnant.

    I got my wife 4 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive
    SheÆs now worried about how we are going to raise 4 kids.

    Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test
    things, tucked behind the cupboard...
    ... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

    Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

    OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

    A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

    Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him
    the news?

    He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

    Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

    Finally, he could take it no longer...

    "Bethany..." he said

    "It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

    My wife's pregnany lasted so long it seemed like a maternity.

    You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
    If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently in
    labor, dial 8...

    Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen, my girlfriend said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the
    slyest look I've ever seen.

    Q: What do programmers call an unplanned pregnancy?
    A: Fetal error.

    I have felt heavily invested in my wifeÆs pregnancy ever since she first told me.
    After all, I provided the seed money.

    Q: What happens after pregnancy?
    A: gnancy

    True story: I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy counselling centre; While
    entering in the comment cards, one had in answer to, "What could we do to improve your experience?": "Maybe some soft lighting & music."

    I said: "Isn't that what got her here in the first place?"; my boss liked it
    so much she put it, anonymously, into the next newsletter.
    -=-
    I asked my sister how her pregnancy is going. My dad interrupts, "Swell!"

    A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the eyes and says:
    Your Kid in Me!

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Jun 8 15:28:00 2021
    George,

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    It's worked for umpteen millennia, but now they want to switch it up; a possibly(probably) true Los Angeles story:

    In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

    A: I heard you just had a baby?
    B: Yes.
    A: Is it a boy or a girl?
    B: How should I know? It's not old enough to TELL me yet!

    I don't know whether it's a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you're
    an aunt or an uncle.

    I used to tell people, "I hope to have three kids -- one of each." &
    let THEM figure it out!

    A case of mistaken indemnity.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    That takes practice!!

    When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the
    new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on your forehead. . . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!

    Yep.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    Or the kids complain all year that "I can't wait for summer vacation
    to get here!!". Now that it's here "I'm bored!! There's nothing to do!!
    I can't wait for school to get here!!".

    This is the new normal. HAH! Kids are your punishment for enjoying sex!

    If it started with our thoughts and fantasies, puberty killed everyone's virginity.

    In the first few months of my wife's pregnancy she wasn't showing
    The baby was inapparent

    Mama's little secret.

    There are quite a few childbirth jokes out there...it used to be a labor
    to find them.

    Bought a home pregnancy test.
    Turns out, my house is pregnant.

    Now, you can add that extra man cave you always wanted. <G>

    I got my wife 4 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive
    SheÆs now worried about how we are going to raise 4 kids.

    Be like the Duggar family...as they grow up, put them on diaper
    duty.

    "It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

    Uterus don't say.

    My wife's pregnany lasted so long it seemed like a maternity.

    Sign on the maternity room door -- PUSH!! PUSH!!

    You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
    If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently
    in labor, dial 8...

    If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

    Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen,
    my girlfriend said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the slyest look I've ever seen.

    Buns are in the oven...and buns are being sat on.

    Q: What do programmers call an unplanned pregnancy?
    A: Fetal error.

    They only come in baby steps.

    I have felt heavily invested in my wifeÆs pregnancy ever since she
    first told me.
    After all, I provided the seed money.

    On the sperm of the moment, no less.

    Q: What happens after pregnancy?
    A: gnancy

    Gee, Nancy, why didn't you tell me??

    True story: I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy counselling centre; While entering in the comment cards, one had in answer to, "What could we do
    to improve your experience?": "Maybe some soft lighting & music."

    Not to mention aromatic perfume.

    I asked my sister how her pregnancy is going. My dad interrupts,
    "Swell!"

    Never mind growing pains.

    A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the
    eyes and says:
    Your Kid in Me!

    Then, they wanted a sample from him into a cup, and said Penis (pee in
    nis).

    Daryl

    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jun 9 08:24:26 2021
    In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

    I like it!

    If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

    When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on
    your
    forehead. . . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!

    Yep.

    I've been through them all. . . oh well -- I learned, though! oh, BOY, did I learn!

    > Now, you can add that extra man cave you always wanted. <G>

    Never wanted one; I'm happy to hang out with my family, or at my computer, whatever. . .

    Be like the Duggar family...as they grow up, put them on diaper
    duty.

    Who? No, that's part of the Daltry family. . . Soz. . .

    You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
    If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently in labor, dial 8...

    If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

    I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?


    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

    That takes a special kind of person!

    There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
    It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

    A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

    My IQ test result just came in and IÆm really relieved!
    Thank God it came back negative!

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Jun 9 12:42:00 2021
    George,

    In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

    I like it!

    If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

    In this case, a sneeze is known as a Booger Holler. <G>

    If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

    I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

    Same thing...the tic-tac-toe symbol.

    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

    That takes a special kind of person!

    That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
    said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
    know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

    There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
    It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

    I've slept and [pooped] since then.

    A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

    A data late, and a duller short.

    My IQ test result just came in and IÆm really relieved!

    Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
    could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

    Daryl

    ... The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jun 9 15:05:06 2021
    If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

    In this case, a sneeze is known as a Booger Holler. <G>

    Make that hanky dance -- blow a little boogie into it!

    If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

    I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

    Same thing...the tic-tac-toe symbol.

    Yup it's "number" before a number & "pound"(or "pounds") after. . .

    As in, I'll take 6# of those #1 grade apples, please. . .

    Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the doctor's daughter!

    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

    That takes a special kind of person!

    That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
    said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
    know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

    Of course! Give & take is fun!

    There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
    It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

    I've slept and [pooped] since then.

    But howe many more than you really needed did you buy then?

    A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

    A data late, and a duller short.

    Or a dullard. . .

    My IQ test result just came in and IÆm really relieved!

    Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
    could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

    Either way. . . it's all good now!

    I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

    Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    A: Finding half a worm.

    Q: WhatÆs a doctor who studies adamÆs apples called?
    A: A guy-neck-ologist

    ItÆs illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
    Because that would be in cider trading

    I heard Apple made a car out of furniture.
    It's called an i-Kia

    Q: WhatÆs the worst part of having an apple addiction?
    A: You canÆt see the doctor about it.

    Q: What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
    A: A Sample

    Never fart in an apple store
    They don't have windows

    Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
    But do you know where the Minneapolis?

    Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
    The i-Roll

    Apple's new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
    ....is guaranteed to sync.

    Q: Why isn't Apple mass producing cars like the iKia?
    A: They re having trouble installing windows.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Jun 10 03:40:00 2021
    George,

    Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the doctor's daughter!

    Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

    That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
    said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
    know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

    Of course! Give & take is fun!

    When I know someone real well...even just good friends, the banter
    between us is hilarious.

    But howe many more than you really needed did you buy then?

    I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
    wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
    shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

    A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

    A data late, and a duller short.

    Or a dullard. . .

    That, too.

    My IQ test result just came in and IÆm really relieved!

    Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
    could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

    Either way. . . it's all good now!

    Just don't do the slip and slide. :P

    I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left
    side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

    My Mom's late brother died of an aneurysm.

    Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    A: Finding half a worm.

    The bird probably ate the first half as an appetizer.

    Q: WhatÆs a doctor who studies adamÆs apples called?
    A: A guy-neck-ologist

    The bones in my neck are so kinked, and the pain is really bothering me...basically a wide area of pinched nerves.

    ItÆs illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice Because that would be in cider trading

    I love chilled apple juice, but it's like prune juice to me. :P

    Q: WhatÆs the worst part of having an apple addiction?
    A: You canÆt see the doctor about it.

    I thought that's what students gave to teachers.

    Q: What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
    A: A Sample

    The doctor wanted this old man to provide a urine sample, a stool
    sample, and a semen sample. The old man didn't hear what the doctor
    said, and his wife said "he wants to see your underwear". :P

    Never fart in an apple store
    They don't have windows

    Failure is not an option...it comes shipped with Windows.

    Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
    But do you know where the Minneapolis?

    In the small drink of Mini Soda.

    Apple's new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
    ....is guaranteed to sync.

    Especially if you're eating iceberg lettuce...which is the only lettuce
    I can eat.

    Daryl

    ... Got Kleptomania?? Take something for it.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 13 10:31:51 2021
    George,

    Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the
    doctor's
    daughter!

    Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

    BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling
    through the ward. . .


    I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
    wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
    shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

    Okayyyy. . . the Aussies say Bog Roll. . .

    You go to the bpg to lerave a jobby, then use the BR to do the paperwork. .
    (no job is truly done until the paperwork is done)

    I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

    My Mom's late brother died of an aneurysm.

    :( Yup, 98% do die - God wasn't/isn't done with me yet, I can only suppose. .


    Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    A: Finding half a worm.

    The bird probably ate the first half as an appetizer.

    The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

    The bones in my neck are so kinked, and the pain is really bothering me...basically a wide area of pinched nerves.

    Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for nerve pain -
    - & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

    I take it for a crushed disc. . .

    > GP> Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
    But do you know where the Minneapolis?

    In the small drink of Mini Soda.

    Q: what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
    A: the juveniles

    Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
    A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

    Rivers are...
    the original streaming service.

    Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
    A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

    Q: Two cats had a race across a river. Their names were "One Two Three" and
    "Un Deux Trois". Which one came first?
    A: "One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

    New Book: "Yellow River"
    By I.P. Dailey

    IÆm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
    ItÆs row v. wade.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Jun 13 17:32:00 2021
    George,

    Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

    BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling through the ward. . .

    They probably got you back with barbed wire needles in the gleutes. :P

    I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
    wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
    shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

    Okayyyy. . . the Aussies say Bog Roll. . .

    Just like anti-diarrhea medicine. Better to have and not need, than to
    need and not have. Speaking of which, this TV or movie deal had to STOP production, to an outbreak of "explosive diarrhea" on location. Folks were collapsing on the set, and scrambling to find toilets.

    :( Yup, 98% do die - God wasn't/isn't done with me yet, I can only suppose. .

    We're still here for some reason.

    The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

    The only good case for that is in the game L.O.R.D. II in searching the condemned cave south of the hag's castle, to find the ancient flute, 35
    gold pieces, and the parrot the old hag is looking for. You have to bite
    into the gloworm to see inside the cave.

    Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for nerve pain - - & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

    No...I'm not much for herbal medicines.

    Q: what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
    A: the juveniles

    Kid stuff. <G>

    Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
    A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

    Just like hurricanes are female...better than himicanes.

    Rivers are...
    the original streaming service.

    Only dead fish swim with the stream.

    Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
    A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

    Was it a Hardly David's Son??

    New Book: "Yellow River"
    By I.P. Dailey

    Got to lay off the Lasix...and don't eat the yellow snow.

    IÆm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my
    rowboat... ItÆs row v. wade.

    I think we need to abort this thread.

    Daryl

    ... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jun 14 11:12:12 2021
    The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

    The only good case for that is in the game L.O.R.D. II in searching the condemned cave south of the hag's castle, to find the ancient flute, 35
    gold pieces, and the parrot the old hag is looking for. You have to bite into the gloworm to see inside the cave.

    Yup, I discovered that a year pre-release while beta testing the game. . .

    I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to burn
    off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from -100 to +100.

    Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for
    nerve
    pain - - & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

    No...I'm not much for herbal medicines.

    Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in any
    herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

    Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
    A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

    Just like hurricanes are female...better than himicanes.

    The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask for directions. .


    Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
    A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

    Was it a Hardly David's Son??

    David rode in a mighty Triumph!


    ... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

    There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men, which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

    Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

    I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with, "SLEEPY, Steve!"

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Ron Lauzon@1:120/457 to George Pope on Mon Jun 14 08:18:34 2021
    George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

    BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling through the ward. . .

    My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane. He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.


    ... I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.
    ___ MultiMail/Linux v0.52

    --- Mystic BBS/QWK v1.12 A47 2021/02/12 (Windows/32)
    * Origin: commconnbbs.net (1:120/457)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Jun 16 12:08:00 2021
    George,

    I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to
    burn off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from -100
    to +100.

    That's true. Although once you get the Gryphon Moon, you can refresh your turns.

    Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in any herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

    Yeah, Big Pharma controls who pays what. :P

    The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask for directions. .

    Although with as erratic as both "genders" have done, you have to wonder.

    Was it a Hardly David's Son??

    David rode in a mighty Triumph!

    And, the disciples came in one Accord.

    ... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

    There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men,
    which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

    Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

    No pressure. I'll bet the audience was roaring in laughter.

    I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with,
    "SLEEPY, Steve!"

    Or he could do like the late Richard Dawson did...talking about
    the critters coming back to San Juan Capistrano, and he did an
    imitation of a swallow <GULP!>. :P

    Daryl

    ... S.T.O.P. -- Spin Tires On Pavement.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Ron Lauzon on Wed Jun 16 12:20:00 2021
    Ron,

    My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane.
    He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.

    I saw a meme, with the old man and his wife in bed. Suddenly, it looks
    like he's having a massive erection. His wife growls "Stop it!! I know
    that's your walking stick". <G>

    ... I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.

    Now, you've got me hungry. :P

    Daryl

    ... Useless invention: Electric banana straightener.
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    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Ron Lauzon on Thu Jun 17 07:42:42 2021
    George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

    BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while
    roling
    through the ward. . .

    My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane. He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.

    I get that. . my eyesight & hearing is runing about that good. . .

    Occasionally, due to my height, my left hand(paralyzed) would brush against a nurse's mammalias. . . but I have no sensation there, so it's as much fun for me as brushing a book against her. . .

    They soon figured out it was unintentional & without gain, & those who were concerned would stand appropriately to avoid it. . .

    Most of my fun was coming in from t he smoke area outside, backwards, up the ramp, kicking with my one good foot in the manual wheelchair full speed so I
    go through the automatic doors JUST as they open up the short hall to the
    main one, & use my right hand to grip the wheel for a sharp quarter turn to
    be facing the right direction. . . (I'd checked the overhead mirror to be
    sure I wouldn't hit anyone)

    They thought I was out of control & maniacal, but I wasn't -- just having as much fun as I could on the stroke ward, surrounded by people 30-40+ years
    lder than me. . .

    "I see," said the blind man, as he looked throughg a knothole in the barbed wire fence.

    "What do you see?" asked the deaf-mute.

    The quadriplegic just walked off in disgust. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Jun 17 07:49:45 2021
    George,

    I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to burn off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from
    -100
    to +100.

    That's true. Although once you get the Gryphon Moon, you can refresh
    your
    turns.

    How do I do it again? I'd forgotten that. . .

    I have it.


    Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in
    any
    herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

    Yeah, Big Pharma controls who pays what. :P

    Not here -- the govt does, ensuring everyone has the meds they need. . .

    I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

    Because Canadians(people, not so much corporations) tell our government what must be done

    I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass cripple
    living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

    But, like the old missionary told us when I was 7: "Ya gotta wanna!"

    The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask
    for
    directions. .

    Although with as erratic as both "genders" have done, you have to
    wonder.

    Yup. . .weather defines caprice more than anything. . .

    Was it a Hardly David's Son??
    David rode in a mighty Triumph!
    And, the disciples came in one Accord.

    That's how I heard it. . .

    Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

    ... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

    There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men, which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

    Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

    No pressure. I'll bet the audience was roaring in laughter.

    Yup, & Steve jumping in telling them how smart they were (not really --
    several answers that won't get you in trouble. . .)

    BZZT! "Sleepy!"
    BZZT! "Doc, cuz she's as smart as one"

    Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway



    I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with, "SLEEPY, Steve!"

    Or he could do like the late Richard Dawson did...talking about
    the critters coming back to San Juan Capistrano, and he did an
    imitation of a swallow <GULP!>. :P

    Daryl

    ... S.T.O.P. -- Spin Tires On Pavement.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Jun 17 16:50:00 2021
    George,

    How do I do it again? I'd forgotten that. . .

    I have it.

    Do the V)iew option (to see your inventory). Move the navigation bar to it, and press <ENTER> to "rub it". You'll see "You feel the Gryphon Moon come
    alive in your hands"...then it asks "Did The Sun Move Back A Bit??". It increases your turns by 500, up to the max amount of turns allowed per day.

    Not here -- the govt does, ensuring everyone has the meds they need. .
    .

    Thankfully, I only have 6 meds I take regularly, and I'm on a fairly
    good prescription drug plan. I called this week to schedule 4 long overdue exams....

    1) A glaucoma check on June 21.
    2) A complete physical and blood work on June 29.
    3) Urological blood work on June 29.
    4) A Low T Treatment, plus a PSA check with the DRE <bend over, and smile> <G>

    I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble
    packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

    I've got so much of 4 of my meds that it's pathetic.

    I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass cripple living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

    I used to live in subsized housing, but moved back to what was my late parents place before my Mom's death.

    Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

    The devil was never a good sport about things. :P

    Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway

    They only had 5 weasels in Roger Rabbit. <G>

    Daryl

    ... Polaroids: What Eskimos get from sitting on ice too long.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 20 10:05:30 2021
    Do the V)iew option (to see your inventory). Move the navigation bar to it, and press <ENTER> to "rub it". You'll see "You feel the Gryphon Moon come
    alive in your hands"...then it asks "Did The Sun Move Back A Bit??". It increases your turns by 500, up to the max amount of turns allowed per
    day.

    Thanks, nbow to get it -- how doi I get to the Clan's home to get the Gryphon Moon? I'm under -100 alignment, but I can't do it via King Arris as he won't talk to me any more. . . I'm ready to wi the game as Evil now. . .

    Thankfully, I only have 6 meds I take regularly, and I'm on a fairly
    good prescription drug plan. I called this week to schedule 4 long overdue exams....

    1) A glaucoma check on June 21.
    2) A complete physical and blood work on June 29.
    3) Urological blood work on June 29.
    4) A Low T Treatment, plus a PSA check with the DRE <bend over, and smile>


    Nice you've got the coverage for this -- this is routine here in Canada, no charge for any of it, ever. . . (for Canadian residents registered for coverage)

    You're obviously blessed & protected. . .what does DRE stand for?

    I had my PSA done by blood test backed up by CT scan. . . I'm good. . .

    I get my eyes done by an actual eye doctor (not just an optician) every 2 years. .

    My sister called my dad today to ask if thereÆs any history of glaucoma on
    his side of the family.
    My dad: ôNone that IÆve seen!ö

    I called in today and told my boss I had anal glaucoma
    I couldnÆt see my butt going into work

    Thgen there was that famous British spy, Henry Reed.

    His eyes were failing him, making it difficult to aim his weapon, so he was called in to MI6 HQ and offered a quick submarine ride (had to be quick, as
    it wasa needed to monitor Uboats in t he North Sea) to a place near where an appointment had been made for Henry Reed.

    His boss impressed on him t he need to not be distracted by anything, as t
    ime was of the essence & they eeded him in good shape ASAP, so the boss said, "Go directly from the sub, Lime, to the Reed oculist."

    (typed this in from memory, from having read it, years ago, in Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" books. . . hope I got it right)



    I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

    I've got so much of 4 of my meds that it's pathetic.

    I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass
    cripple
    living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

    I used to live in subsized housing, but moved back to what was my late parents place before my Mom's death.

    Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

    The devil was never a good sport about things. :P

    Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway

    They only had 5 weasels in Roger Rabbit. <G>

    Daryl

    ... Polaroids: What Eskimos get from sitting on ice too long.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)