• Longevity Queen - from The Onion

    From Khelair@VERT/TINFOIL to All on Tue Dec 9 16:22:03 2014
    Sorry, I just couldn't keep this one all to myself (http://onion.com/1vxjKai)

    "Reflecting on a long life that began at the end of the 19th century, the world's oldest woman told reporters Monday that she could not be happier now that every other human on earth the day she was born is now deceased. "Nothing, not one single thing, gives me more pleasure than knowing anyone who was alive on March 5, 1898--my family, my friends, and even far-off strangers that I never knew existed--is stone-cold dead," said 116-year-old Misao Okawa, smiling as she observed how all 1.6 billion of the people who were alive the day she came into the world had passed away, one by one, during her remarkable lifespan. "I'm the sole fucking survivor. I'm the longevity queen. I'm the one who stuck it out while everyone else threw themselves onto the corpse pile. Man, it's too bad I'm in a wheelchair or I'd trample every single one of their fucking graves." Okawa went on to say her only regret is that she probably won't outlive all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren."

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  • From Traskian@VERT/SHENKS to Khelair on Wed Dec 10 17:44:00 2014
    Re: Longevity Queen - from Th
    By: Khelair to All on Tue Dec 09 2014 04:22 pm

    That made me laugh far...FAR more than it should've. Thank you for sharing.

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  • From Khelair@VERT/TINFOIL to Traskian on Wed Dec 10 21:35:07 2014
    Re: Longevity Queen - from Th
    By: Traskian to Khelair on Wed Dec 10 2014 17:44:00

    That made me laugh far...FAR more than it should've. Thank you for
    sharing.

    *cackle* I know the feeling; when I first saw that I couldn't stop cackling intermittently for like 45 minutes, bare minimum. :) Figured it was too good to keep to myself. ;)

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